WITTYVERSEHQ

Explore the internet of a parallel universe.

Portal found and tapped, so you can see what goes on in the Wittyverse.

▸ Threshold · metro area classifieds index

A soufflé rests on a marble counter beside an open oven, wooden spoon nearby
[ Trades & Certification ]

Intro to Defensive Baking, 4-Week Course, All Levels, Bring Your Own Mitts

Bracht Commons
A smart TV mounted on a living-room wall, screen glowing softly in the dim room
[ Equipment & Devices ]

Selling my TV because it learned my name

CR 400 · Shovnik Heights
A brown leather recliner in an otherwise empty living room, seat cushion warped
[ Furniture ]

Was a recliner. Now it's just a situation.

CR 50 OBO · Noxwell
▸ Enter Threshold

▸ Witty Weekly · Dimension 7’s newspaper of record

A paramedic in uniform carrying a large plasma television toward an open ambulance

Paramedic Saves Life With Personal Plasma TV, Calls Loss ‘Personally Devastating’

A seven-year veteran of the Ridgewell County Emergency Medical Corps liquidated his own 65-inch display during an emergency field transfusion. His colleagues have described his heroism as ‘the saddest act’ they have ever witnessed.

By Sedgewick Floss · Drosswick · Cycle 47
Emergency response personnel outside a Taco Baraco restaurant with caution tape

Emergency Evacuation at Taco Baraco After Category 4 Intestinal Event; Officials Clarify They Meant the Building

Public Health · Cycle 46
A residential coat closet with a glowing interdimensional portal revealing a frozen mountainous landscape, frost creeping into the hallway

The Previous Owner Left a Portal in the Coat Closet. It’s Affecting Our Heating Bill.

Advice · Cycle 46
View through a kitchen window into a neighbor's empty kitchen at dusk

I Watched My Neighbor’s Marriage Collapse Through ThresHold Listings

Opinion · Cycle 46
▸ Enter Witty Weekly

▸ Coming · three in construction

Chatter

Their live feed. Still tuning the signal.
▸ Coming

HookUp

Their careers site. Still normalizing the connections.
▸ Coming

The Hold

Their forum. Waiting on the moderators.
▸ Coming

▸ Shop the Wittyverse

Imported from the Wittyverse, now available on Earth Amazon.

Silver foil packet labeled Dehydrated Water, product photo on white

Dehydrated Water

Just add water. Stays fresh forever.
▸ Buy on Amazon
A bottle labeled Eye Bleach with a warning stripe, product photo on white

Eye Bleach

For things you can’t unsee. Now in larger bottles.
▸ Coming to Amazon
A discreet zippered pouch labeled Shart Kit, product photo on white

Shart Kit

Be prepared. Comes in a discreet pouch.
▸ Buy on Amazon
A mechanical launcher-shaped device labeled Child Chucker, product photo on white

Child Chucker

Use responsibly. Batteries not included.
▸ Coming to Amazon